These Australian Marsupials Bone So Hard That The Males Die

Scientists in Australia have discovered two new species of a rare marsupial. The antechinus is a cute lil’ thing that bears a passing resemblance to a mouse, but with one crucial difference — they just love to fuck, man.

The male antechinus is known for its “suicidal sexual behavior,” which is basically just engaging in copious amounts of intercourse for up to 14 hours at a time, going hard in the paint, until their mating season is over. Once they’ve sufficiently sowed their oats, the females hopefully retreat to a mineral bath and a heavy pour of something strong, while the males deal with the fact that they have just fucked themselves to death. Mammalogist Dr. Andrew Baker says:

‘They’ll bleed internally, they have ulcers, their fur falls off in patches, sometimes they’re stumbling around blind and still trying to mate.”

Eventually, the males’ immune systems collapse, and a whole bunch of them die, effectively halving the population every year, and increasing their chances of extinction far faster than climate change or predators could. Mother Nature is a cruel mistress, indeed. [Daily Mail]