10 Mantras To Get You Through Your Summer Struggles

Memorial Day has come and gone, and that means it’s summer! Wait, that means… it’s summer. The season of street festivals and sweating and bugs and masses of people being outside when all you want to do is drink your mint julep on your deck and fan yourself in peace. I know, I know: The summer struggle is real. I got, you, though. Breathe in, hold, breathe out, and here are 10 mantras to recite to yourself to get yourself through:

1. Your body looks great in whatever swimsuit you want to wear. Men, women, and everyone else: No one in the real world cares how you look in your swimsuit other than you, so it’s your judgment alone that determines how good or bad you look in your swimsuit. Go positive on this one. I’m sure you look great. Why wouldn’t you? You’re a human with a body and humans with bodies are great. Go to the beach, already.

2. Sweat is awesome. You’re going to be bathing in it all summer, so you might as well embrace it. How cool is it that humans have our own built-in air conditioning system?

3. There ARE routes around the street festivals. And when there aren’t, just stare at the horizon line, grit your teeth, recite Psalm 23, and start walking until you get through.

4. Cubs [or other sport team] fans probably have some really great redeeming qualities when you get them one-on-one. Never mind that they’re crowding up the entire damn Red Line [or other public transit system route or expressway] and will inevitably puke on your shoes or yell something misguided about your tits. They probably have rescue dogs and call their moms every week. Or something.

5. Mosquitos are a vital part of the ecosystem. They’re a food source for migratory birds, fish, reptiles; they’re pollinators; they feed on microbes; they make up a surprising portion of the biomass of aquatic ecosystems. If we killed all of them it would be disastrous. The fact that we’re all itching like crazy is fine. It’s fine. It’s totally fine. It’s totally and completely fine. Do any of you have long nails?

6. Pat, don’t wipe. The only surefire way to make sure your makeup stays on, and if it doesn’t, fuck it anyway, your face is great the way it is.

7. All those screaming children in the parks will be back in school shortly. And until then, all you have to do is keep your eyes above waist-level.

8. Nobody’s having as much fun as their IG makes it seem. You’re not missing out. They probably went right back into an air-conditioned building after they took that beach/festival/exotic location selfie, like every other normal person.

9. That A/C unit is not going to fall on you. Have faith that the person who lives in that apartment either had it professionally installed or duct-taped it to their windowsill like a maniac.

10. Enjoy it while it lasts. Especially if you’re north of the Mason-Dixon line. Winter is coming.

[Image via Shutterstock]

Send me a line at [email protected] and follow me on Facebook.