Fox News Bros Take “Manhood” Test (And It Does Not Go Well)

Prepare yourselves before clicking that play button above, for it is perhaps one of the most cringeworthy “Fox and Friends” segments you will ever see in your life. While promoting a book by former Navy Seal Derrick Van Orden on how to be a man, hosts Scott Brown and Brian Kilmeade attempted to take some kind of manhood test, for the proving of manliness.

It did not go well.

First up was the – I guess? – lost art of tying one’s own tie. Which Kilmeade did sort of OK at, but still managed to fumble quite a bit and for some reason needed to use his teeth. I was not aware this was a thing people couldn’t do, specifically people who wear ties regularly. I mean, I can tie a tie and I don’t even wear one. You just do the whole “the rabbit and the fox thing.” It is not that difficult.

Then, Brown tied a square knot, which I can also do because it is also not all that difficult, plus I grew up sailing and also making friendship bracelets. I guess I must be pretty manly.

The hosts then lamented the fact that we used to be a country of people who fixed their own cars, mowed their own lawns and tied their own ties. Which is kind of confusing since, yes, there are car repair shops and people who will come and mow your lawn for you (although lots of people still mow their own), but unless you are super rich I feel like you probably don’t have someone come over and tie your tie for you. Is that even a thing? Could that possibly be a thing? Will someone actually pay me money for this? Am I in the wrong business?

Anyway, the real test came when it was time to change a tire, with host Elisabeth Hasselbeck playing the role of a damsel in distress.

Using a rented car from Enterprise, the hosts attempted to jack the car up and remove the lug nuts while Van Orden talked about how this is what a “man” does, not just a “male.” Then, the car rolled right off the jack and it was decided that they would discontinue the test for fear of ruining it.

MAN TEST FAILED. I guess that means the patriarchy will be easier to defeat than we’d previously surmised. Who knows where it would have gone were they to have continued? Probably a pickle jar opening challenge.

To be fair, I don’t think I can change a tire either, but also I haven’t even owned a car for years, so it’s not an immediate concern – but I guess I’d fail that part of the man test as well.