Who’s Excited For The Most Slut-Shamey Season Of “The Bachelorette” Ever?!

On last night’s second part of “The Bachelorette” premiere, Kaitlyn Bristowe was chosen over Kelly Kapowski Britt Nilsson to continue her journey towards finding a three month relationship, I mean everlasting love. I’m psyched because I genuinely like and relate to Kaitlyn, but after seeing the full preview for what’s ahead, I’m also a little worried that this is going to be the most slut-shamey season yet.

For starters, LOOK, there’s Nick Viall, Andi Dorfman’s runner-up! Damn, that guy really can’t find love without Chris Harrison’s help, huh? Nick apparently joins the list of suitors grappling for roses early on, but it looks like he and Kaitlyn have a connection that was likely formed before filming began. It’s not clear if their relationship is the one that “goes too far too soon,” but the preview pulls no punches — Kaitlyn bangs one of the guys earlier than she “should” have and does a whole mess of crying about it.

While these trailers are usually edited to be much more dramatic than what actually occurs, it’s clear that Kaitlyn is torn up over her TOTALLY NORMAL decision to have consensual sex with an adult man she is dating, because only “The Bachelorette” could manage to be puritanical about a person dating 20+ people at once. Kaitlyn, girl, DO YOU. As she says in the preview, not having a physical connection with someone — i.e. not really liking the way they stick their P in your V, amongst other activities – is a dealbreaker. I really, really hope Kaitlyn doesn’t find herself in a position of atoning for a “mistake” that isn’t actually a mistake but a part of normal adult human romantic relations. It’s about time this show stopped skirting around the issue of sex, especially as it relates to monogamy and marriage. So you know what, Kaitlyn? Fuck ‘em all – literally.