32 Percent Of Republicans Think Obama Is Trying To Invade Texas

I gotta tell you, I love me a good Public Policy Polling study. In addition to being one of the most accurate political polling companies, they always ask people some super fascinating questions. For instance, they once found that 27 percent of Americans think that hipsters should be fined for being annoying. I’m going to assume most of the people who answered yes to that did not literally believe that.

However, I think the answers to the question “Do you think the government is trying to take over Texas or not?” were most likely sincere – and 32 percent of Republicans polled answered YES.

Right now, if you haven’t been paying particular attention to the whole Jade Helm thing, you are probably thinking one of two things.

  1. That’s totally insane
  2. Didn’t that already happen in 1845?

The answer to both of those things is yes! But like, basically what is going on is that these crazy Alex Jones people think that a military drill in Texas is part of some plot by President Obama to take over Texas and take all of the guns away or something. Then, I guess, send everyone to FEMA camps?

I honestly don’t know. I can’t ever listen to Alex Jones, as he gives me Mary Hart Syndrome. I think we can all be pretty sure though, that whatever he says is 100 percent definite, grade A bullshit. But it’s actually pretty freaky that this many people believe. I mean, usually this kind of stuff is confined to the fringes of any group–so 32 percent is a pretty huge chunk of people believing something that definitely is not true.

Besides, if liberals were going to invade Texas, we probably wouldn’t involve the military of all things. We’d do it by setting up music festivals and filling up your city councils with women.