College Debater Ted Cruz Had Some Good Jokes About Magical Hymens

Ted Cruz is quite the comedian. I mean, just recently he played a delightful prank on all of us by trying to convince us that he legitimately thought he was going to be president. Silly, silly Ted Cruz. He is truly the Andy Kaufman of our time.

Anyway, it turns out that this humorous bent is not something he came by recently. Ted Cruz was telling jokes in college as well, back when he was a master debater on Princeton’s debate team, and a New York Times profile published today released quite a gem.

Mr. Cruz’s own attempts at humor sometimes missed the mark. In one debate, he proposed a method to detect infidelity, in which God should “give women a hymen that grows back every time she has intercourse with a different guy, because that will be a ‘visible sign’ of the breach of trust,” according to a recollection by David Kennedy published in a Harvard debate team reunion booklet in 2001.

Mr. Kennedy’s debate partner mocked Mr. Cruz’s knowledge of the subject matter by contorting herself to see how the anatomy in question could be “visible,” according to the booklet.

To be fair, with jokes like those, Cruz probably could have made a career out of opening for Daniel Tosh. Probably his fellow debaters just didn’t get his anti-humor humor, because it was so subversive.  Also, the best humor contains a kernel of truth, and Ted Cruz does really like the idea of policing women’s bodies.

Another interesting factoid released in the profile was that Cruz was apparently way into listening to the Les Misérables soundtrack–which means that he and I actually do have something in common. I would think it was a little bit odd, given his political leanings–but hey, I like Godspell and it’s not like I’m into Jesus or anything, so who am I to judge? Besides, hey, maybe he thought Javert was supposed to be the story’s hero?

If anything, I appreciate knowing all of this, because now I am going to spend my afternoon writing a parody of “The Confrontation” featuring Ted Cruz and a magically regenerating hymen. [NY Times]