Why Die On Mars When You Could Live In South Dakota?

Why die on Mars, when you could live in South Dakota? That’s the question South Dakota’s Governor’s Office of Economic Development is aiming to answer in what I can honestly say is the most delightful little video I have ever seen in my entire godforsaken life.

As the newly released 30-second spot astutely points out, Mars is a planet where you can’t breathe and it’s too cold to survive, yet hundreds of thousands of people have signed up to head to Mars and never return. (Extra points for pulling screenshots of actual blog posts — shared by reputable news organizations — from idiots who defended their reasons to live on Mars.) But why live on Mars when you could live somewhere else and not die? Enter South Dakota: they have oxygen.

That’s it. The entire sales pitch to move to South Dakota is because the state has jobs and it has oxygen. THAT IS FUCKING BRILLIANT. What more do you truly need in life? Not a goddamn thing, I tell you, not a goddamn thing. And if that alone isn’t enough to please you, perhaps the homage to the genre of ’90s local television commercials will be the cherry on top of the sundae you’ll never get if you move to Mars.

Why die on Mars, when you could live in South Dakota? Why, indeed.

[h/t A24]