BDSM, Cuckholding & A Spunky Take On Hot Potato: Where Do You Draw The Line Between Kinky And Just Plain Nasty?

About three weeks ago, a very attractive man in his 30s sent me a message on Plenty of Fish, where I’d had recently created a dating profile, mostly for writing inspiration, but also with the hopes that I’d find a cool guy to hang out with upon my return to New York from traveling. Things seemed pretty straight forward at first: he was very attractive, funny and down to Earth. I wanted to get to know him better, so we decided the next best course of action would be a Skype conversation.

I was greeted by his beautiful hazel eyes and inviting smile when he answered my video chat call. We exchanged the usual greetings. Then he got right down to the nitty and gritty.

“I’m looking for a woman who wants to dominate me,” he explained.

Intrigued.

“And that entails…?” I pushed.

“I want to be my girl’s servant, be owned by her in every way,” he continued.

Uh huh … Tell me more.

“I want my girl to be free to fuck whoever she wants and she has to tell me all about it,” he said.

Okay … still interested.

“I want to see pictures of the dicks she fucks,” he went on with excitement.

Um, well, this is getting a bit odd.

“On my wedding day, I want my wife to come down the aisle with a mouth full of another man’s cum and put it into my mouth as she kisses me.”

Wait. WTF?

Admittedly, I’m open to certain degrees of kink. I like the idea that I should be free to enjoy my sexuality, without restrictions, in a way that is even celebrated by my partner. To some extent, I even enjoy entertaining the idea of being in a relationship where I have complete control of my dude’s sexuality, without having to sacrifice my own autonomy. And dominating a guy a bit? Hmm, I’m open to trying it. Some part of me was very turned on by what this man was proposing. But playing pass the cum on my wedding day, like a kinky twist on Hot Potato? Nah, not so much. I had to draw the line there for myself, even though I appreciated this guy’s honesty and straightforwardness.

After all, he detailed that information in the spirit of full-disclosure. He was looking for a woman whose sexual interests and desires aligned with his. He was looking for acceptance from his partner. And I sincerely appreciated his willingness to be transparent and open, but I simply was not the woman he was looking for.

No sooner did I come to that conclusion, than I received another message on my POF account from a good-looking White guy in his 30s.

“I would love to be dominated and humiliated in front of you and your girlfriends,” it read.

What the heck is up with the increase of cute sadomasochists on Plenty of Fish? I’ve had online dating profiles before and I have literally never received messages like that one. I mean, I know the book and now movie “Fifty Shades of Grey” has certainly made aspects of BDSM less taboo and more mainstream, so perhaps these guys are just less shy about their sexual proclivities. Which is fine with me. I’m all for people exploring their sexuality and engaging in what it is they enjoy with consensual partners. I just know where I draw my line.

So I responded. “Well, I might be interested in that, but you wouldn’t be interested in a mouth full of another man’s cum by any chance, would you?”

If he replies “No,” maybe we can take it from there. (And if he replies “Yes,” well, I have a new friend to potentially introduce him to.) After all, we only have one life to live and I’m a girl who’s open to having as many empowering experiences as possible.

Frisky readers: Where do you draw the line between kinky and just plain nasty? Let’s talk about it in the comments!