Yes, New York Times, Grown Men Should Use Emoji

In the newly-launched Men’s Style section of The New York Times, Matt Haber takes on a question plaguing the modern dude: Should they use emojis? Let’s get right into this. Here’s what Haber has to say for himself:

Given their resemblance to the stickers that adorn the notebooks of schoolgirls, not to mention their widespread adoption as the lingua franca of tweens and teens everywhere, some people wonder whether grown men should be using them at all.

Well! That settles it, right? If you’re a tween, a teen or a woman, then emoji are fine for you, but for the men, those titans of industry, the oil barons and lawyers and business executives, emoji belie a vast gulf of complex, inscrutable emotion. THEY’RE GIRLY. God forbid you emasculate yourself by telling your friend that you’ll meet them at the bar by texting a thumbs up, a pig nose and the surfer dude.

It’s scary, I know, because new things are hard. If your finger is quivering over your phone, staring at those tiny pixels, unsure of which one to send, consider this advice from 63-year-old television writer, Gil Schwartz:

“For a moment you’re Taylor Swift … If you’re confident in your manhood, you can certainly lapse into Taylor Swift-hood momentarily.”

If Gil can do it, you can do it. Use the emoji, men. Don’t worry. You don’t lose your right to scratch your balls on the couch, or wear fedoras, or be generally shitty to women, and whatever else you consider macho. You are still a man if you send your bros that red 100 followed by the prayer hands in response to literally anything. Should you use emoji, man-reading-this-post? Yes. Obviously. [NY Times]