Just Look At This Asshole: Chintzy Indiana Pizzeria Thrilled To Not Make Pizza For Gay Weddings

Although we’re at the point where even freaking NASCAR is denouncing the state of Indiana for their crap “Religious Freedom Restoration Act,” and pretty much everyone in the known universe thinks it’s the worst, there are those that are excited about the thrilling possibilities it will bring to their lives.

One such place is “Memories Pizza” in Walkerton, Indiana. The O’Connor family, who owns the pizzeria, say they approve of the bill because they don’t want to cater gay weddings, because they’re really holy and stuff. You know, because there is such a high demand for that. Who doesn’t want a chintzy looking Indiana pizza place run by people who aren’t even Italian to cater their wedding, amirite?

Via WBND ABC 57:

“We’re not discriminating against anyone, that’s just our belief and anyone has the right to believe in anything,” says O’Connor.

So, when Governor Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law, the family was not disappointed.

“We definitely agree with the bill,” says O’Connor.

When ABC 57 asked O’Connor about the negative backlash the bill has been getting for being a discriminatory piece of legislation, she says that’s simply not true.

“I do not think it’s targeting gays. I don’t think it’s discrimination,” says O’Connor. “It’s supposed to help people that have a religious belief.”

O’Connor says because she’s a Christian, she and her family don’t support a gay marriage and that is their right.

Kevin O’Connor, Crystal’s father, says he believes the negative backlash the bill and its supporters are getting isn’t fair.

“That lifestyle is something they choose. I choose to be heterosexual. They choose to be homosexual. Why should I be beat over the head to go along with something they choose?” says Kevin O’Connor.

These people have an interesting definition of what constitutes being beaten over the head with something. Also, it’s cool that Kevin O’Connor chose heterosexuality for himself, but not everyone is a three on the Kinsey scale. Some people are just definitely gay or definitely straight, and not everyone has the option, as Kevin O’Connor does, to choose what they want for themselves. Sure, Kevin O’Connor could be having piles of hot gay sex right now, and he might be really into that, but he chose to be a straight dude. And to make pizza. But not for gay weddings.

As gross as it is that these people even exist and are whining about the gay weddings no one asked them to cater with their pizza that I suspect is probably not very good–I choose to see the bright side of this situation. Look at these people! They’re assholes. They run a poorly decorated pizza place in a small town in Indiana. And they were like, the only people this news team could even find that actually thought this was a good idea. Hell, if they were on our team, I’d start to think we were doing something wrong.

The backlash to this bill is definitely a positive thing. Yes, other states like Arkansas and South Carolina are drafting up their own versions of the bill so their crappy pizza places don’t have to cater gay weddings either. But I see these things as a loud, ringing death knell. They’re trying so hard, and being such assholes, because they know they’re not winning. These are their last ditch efforts and they’re trying to make them count, but let’s just say it–they are not long for this world.