Martha Stewart Should Run Every Celebrity Roast, Ever

Out of all the guests at Comedy Central’s roast of Justin Bieber last night, it was your queen Martha Stewart who managed to eviscerate everyone she talked about, with grace, decorum and a lot of raunch. She called Kevin Hart “African-American rich,” suggested that Ludacris, ahem, finish on her towels instead of making more children, called Natasha Leggerro a “dirty, used-up hoe” and that was all before she got to Justin Bieber.

She had some tips for Bieber in the event he makes it to prison, from someone who survived the slammer. If you want to hear Martha Stewart talk shit about Shaq’s mom and call herself a “playa in the boardroom and a freak in the bedroom” — trust me, you do — watch this immediately.