I Watched The Bonkers Tidal Promo Video And Now I’m In A Cult

Yesterday, something called Tidal happened, and try as I did to care, I was very busy dealing with a lot of personal problems of my own like where to find a good banh mi in Midtown that isn’t too fancy or ‘deconstructed,’ and I never made it around to figuring out what everyone Twitter was talking about. But then this video of Tidal was released, and all I saw was a screen shot of Jay-Z chilling with some fancy Storm Troopers, so yeah, I’m in. I still have no idea what Tidal is, but I guess, together, you and I are about to find out.

- Is this a cult? Kanye just called it the beginning of the new world, changing the course of history, forever today

- Jay-Z just high fived some storm troopers

- The storm troopers might be Daft Punk

- If one more person says ‘final frontier or ‘change the course of history forever,’ I am calling HBO to do a “Going Clear” follow up

- LOL at Usher Skyping in, what is he doing that he’s too busy to show up? Nicki, Beyonce, Madonna, Chris Martin, Kanye, Jay-Z are all here – but Usher couldn’t be bothered to fly in?

- Everyone keeps talking about musicians making music but I still have no idea what this is

- Half the people railing against making music about art and not about technology have had highly technological albums

- Jay-Z just said all the artists sitting in a room would change the game forever

- I still have no clue what this product is

-Oh, it’s over. This is definitely a cult.

(As it turns out, Tidal is not a cult — yet — but a streaming music service Jay-Z bought for $56 million, that is just like Spotify. Except that instead of charging you $9.99 like Spotify, it will charge you $20. Very final, very frontier.)