Zayn Malik Is Leaving One Direction, A Nation Mourns
Zayn Malik, the hottest member of the male Forever21 model collective One Direction, has quit the band. The news comes officially from One Direction’s Facebook page, which issued a statement about the startling separation.
Which one is Zayn, you might ask? He’s the hottest one, the one that I thought was at least 25, the one that I thought somehow snuck in there by accident, when no one was watching. You know, he’s the one that didn’t date Taylor Swift. Yeah, that guy. The one that doesn’t look like he smells of Stella Artois and weird cologne.
While legions of teen girls, adult women and some gay men are surely weeping over this unexpected sucker punch, I say good for you, Zayn. Get out, be free! Explore your love of grafitti (LOL), be a bright young thing with a lot of money and some of the worst tattoos in history. Live your life.
[Image via Getty]