Thank Us Later: An Immediate Cure For Ingrown Hairs, Cysts, Bad Zits And Inner Thigh Boils

An incredibly horrifying thing happened to me a while back. After shaving, I got an ingrown hair. Not normally that big a deal. But then–I think it got irritated while I was exercising or something–and it somehow, within a day and a half, turned into this nightmare, two inch boil on my inner thigh. It hurt so badly I could not walk. I drove myself crazy on the internet. Did I have MRSA? Leprosy? Was I dying? Was my leg going to fall off?

As usual, WebMD was of no help for anything other than making me think I was going to die of even more things. Google Image search was practically traumatizing. But I kept researching well into the early hours of the morning. I tried everything. Long baths, a heating pad, witch hazel, toothpaste–I even tried making a poultice out of milk soaked bread, strapping it to my thigh with a scarf I wasn’t all that attached to and leaving it on overnight. This was a recommendation in various forums, and not some random thing I made up myself. It did not even sort of work, which I suppose is not that surprising. Nothing helped and I was scared to death, thinking I’d be condemned to bed rest and alone forever because of my gross and painful thigh boil situation.

It took two days of research, but I finally found something that people seemed to think worked, and worked fast. I had never heard of it in my life, but it was called “Smile’s PRID All Natural Drawing Salve.” Hoping against hope, I Instacarted some from Whole Foods along with some other stuff.

I was suspicious at first, because it says “homeopathic” on the label, but it has actual ingredients, so I think they mean “homeopathic” as in “natural” and not “homeopathic” as in “water has a memory.”

After heating it up a bit with my heating pad, because the consistency is fairly tar-like, I smeared some on a tissue and bandaged it to my leg. I lied on my bed with that and the heating pad between my legs, and bingewatched some crap on Netflix to take my mind off of things. In a couple hours, I had to pee.

In order to avoid things getting gross I took off the bandage, thinking I’d have to reapply. I figured if it were going to work, it would take all night. BUT LO AND BEHOLD, the thing had popped and the tissue was already covered in the grossest mixture of blood and pus you could possibly imagine. It was disgusting, but it was also the most relief I had ever felt in my whole entire life. I actually started crying.

As if that wasn’t relief enough–I had also put some of it on another ingrown hair, and that had come out as well.

It was such an embarrassing and awful thing to have happen, but when a damn near miracle happens to you, it’s hard to keep it to yourself. I mentioned it to other women I knew. Turns out, I was not the only person on earth this had happened to! Which, my god, was also a relief.

Since then, other people I know have tried the Smile’s PRID out as well. And it works! Immediately! It was definitely not just a one-off miracle thing.

It works for weird boils, for painful ingrown hairs, and even for the occasional labia zit that you know isn’t an STD but still scares the crap out of you. I haven’t had occasion to use it on a regular zit yet, but according to an internet search, people say it works magic on them, specifically under-the-skin zits and cystic pimples. Apparently, it can also get splinters out, which is great because the tweezer method is the actual worst. As a bonus, it also helps your skin heal quickly.

I have also been advised that it works miracles for those who get ingrown hairs on their face after waxing or threading. Just smear some on and wait a few and they come right out.

As cringey as this all is, I knew I needed to do a post on this shit for the sake of other people having horrendous Google panic attacks and not knowing what the hell to do about these things. Because no one should ever sleep with a poultice of wet bread strapped to their thigh. To boot, the stuff is only $7! It is definitely a thing you want to be keeping in your medicine cabinet for all your horrible and embarrassing emergencies!