Men Are Scheduling Vasectomies So They Can Recover During March Madness

With March Madness comes the inevitable flurry of brackets, beer, yelling and covert viewings of basketball games on the second monitor of your work computer. But, if you’re a man who no longer wants to have children, you can effectively achieve that goal, while also watching all the NCAA games unfettered, by scheduling a vasectomy in March, so you have an excuse to stay at home with an ice pack on your balls — while watching every single game of course.

Dr. Neal Baum, a urologist in New Orleans, even offers a March Madness special:

…patients get a scalpel-free vasectomy, a pizza, a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, a frozen gel pack, and a bell, so that patients can sit on the couch and ring for someone to “bring them a fresh beer or whatever they need.”

Is this an example of men being terrible? Yes. By that description above, men getting their fucking tubes tied so that they can sit on the couch, watch sports and not take out the garbage or whatever is horrible. If any man I was with rang a goddamn bell while he was sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on his junk, I’d “Waiting To Exhale” his ass so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him.

Despite that, this is still kind of brilliant, on par with scheduling getting your wisdom teeth out to coincide with a marathon of the “Harry Potter” movies on ABC Family. You win this round, men. Just this once.

[Vulture]

[Image via Shutterstock]