Just Look At This Asshole: The Most Casually Racist, Rude Pitch Email I’ve Ever Received

Katy Perry and Jennifer Aniston’s ex-boyfriend can rest easy, because he’s no longer the shittiest John Mayer around.

One of the many delights of being a writer is getting pitch emails from both publicists and people who have to publicize themselves. While bloggers generally revel in tweeting out the most inane pitch emails they receive, I can’t truly knock the hustle, because hey, we all need to eat. But this email I got (at 2 a.m., no less!) from a web series director, Jon Mayer, is truly beyond.

Apparently my personal brand on the Internet is lonely Indian narcissist? Thanks Jon Mayer!

Despite my better judgment, I watched the episode he sent to see if it did indeed capture the ethos of me that Mayer nailed so correctly, but aside from starring an Indian-American woman, the show had nothing to do with Indian-Americans, narcissism, or loneliness. It also was not funny, unless disjointed story arcs, bad sound mixing, and watching a woman in a bad wig do her best Melissa McCarthy and come up short is funny, which I realize in typing it out actually does sound like it would be a trainwreck-esque hoot at the very least, but “Happy Town” falls short even there. You know your show is bad when you can’t even do “hot mess” correctly.

Regardless of whether the series is great or not (and to be honest, I was really hoping it was, to redeem this offensive little incident), pitching an editor by marginalizing her race and then insulting her is usually not the best way to go. It’s rude and shitty, and if your goal was a little good PR, it’s clearly a FAIL.

That being said, I will forever be signing all my emails in the future with a 100 percent serious “Shame on you” in lieu of “All the best, Beejoli,” and I feel pretty, pretty good about it.