Rick Santorum To Save America By Teaching Religion In Public Schools

In a speech this Saturday at a far-right religious conference organized by The Liberty Counsel, former Senator and eternal dirty joke Rick Santorum warned of the impending destruction of American civilization being brought about by evil liberals who don’t want the Bible taught in schools.

Via RightWingWatch:

“We are on a crossroads in American history, a crossroads that looks like we are heading down in a direction that, let’s be honest, no civilization has ever been able to recover from,” Santorum warned, adding that the nation needs to return to God.

“The left cannot be successful in a country of God-given rights,” he said. “It can’t. Because they want to be the purveyor of rights, and if God is the purveyor of rights, then they lose. We have an obligation to educate, to form, within our churches to preach, within our families to educate, and to fight within our schools. Why are Bibles no longer in public schools? Don’t give me the Supreme Court. The reason Bibles are no longer in the public schools is because we let them take them out of the public schools.”

First of all. There are bibles in schools. They are in school libraries! With myriad other religious texts and reference books! They definitely have to be there in high school, otherwise, how the hell is someone like me gonna write an essay on whether or not the tree Phineas jumps off of in A Separate Peace represents the tree of knowledge?

What Santorum wants is different. He wants religious instruction in schools. Specifically, instruction in the Christian religion.

Here’s what I want to know–who is this for? Ostensibly, I would imagine that Christian parents are probably teaching their children Christianity at home and at church. This is not for them, this is “for” children of other religions or children who are not religious.

What Rick Santorum wants to do, plain and simple, is to take tax money from people who are not Christians, and use that money to evangelize to their children in hopes of getting them to convert to Christianity. He thinks that’s fair. If he didn’t, he’d just send his kids to the Jesuits or the Sisters of Mercy and leave everyone else alone.

I’m sure that Rick Santorum would not feel good if his children were taught that their religion were wrong and that they should practice another. Certainly, he’d probably not be very interested in paying taxes to support that. Santorum has spoken before about his fears regarding “Sharia Law” being implemented in the United States. Perhaps he could take a minute and realize that the exact same rules that make that an impossibility are the same rules that protect people like me from having to participate in his religion.

Actually, considering that Santorum is a Catholic and not an Evangelical Christian, he should actually be on my team when it comes to not teaching religion in schools. Were he to get his wish, it’s likely that Catholic children would learn all about how they are practicing the wrong flavor of Christianity.

Let’s be real here. Most Catholics aren’t going around trying to convince non-Catholics to join up. I grew up around Catholics and Jews my whole life and the closest anyone came to trying to convert me was when my friend said they had cookies at Sunday School and I got jealous. I’ve also never had any Mainline Protestants bother me either. It’s the Born-again Christians, Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Jews For Jesus and Hari Krishnas that you’ve gotta watch out for.

The main people on “Team Let’s Teach Religion In Public Schools” are Evangelical Christians– and Evangelical Christians not on your team, Rick Santorum. They have a huge problem with “worshiping” the Virgin Mary, transubstantiation, good works, the Pope, the Saints, etc. In fact, some of them even consider the Pope to be the actual antichrist. Go ahead and Google that shit. They think you’re basically “pagans.”

It’s hardly as though, if Santorum were able to banish the entire “Left” from this country, particularly people like me and the haunting spectre of Madalyn Murray O’Hair, that they’d be able to teach “The Christian Religion” in schools without any problems.

There’s not really a “generic brand” of Christianity, which is why these people have been battling it out with each other since well before any of us came along. A very good portion of the major conflicts in history were basically just about Christians disagreeing with other Christians on how to be Christian. We might not even been here today, in America, if the Puritans hadn’t been so worked up about the Episcopalians getting divorces and dancing all the time. Were the Bible to be taught in schools, there would be just as much arguing about which flavor of it to teach as there would be from atheists and minority religious groups.

Which is why the most fair, and the most sensible thing to do for everyone involved is for parents to teach their kids their religion at home and in church (or in private schools!) and stay out of everyone else’s face. Because while you have freedom of religion and freedom of speech, you do not have the right to force people to either practice your religion or listen to you.