Duggars’ Son-In-Law Purposely Runs Over Cat In Sled As Sociopathic Family Giggles
Well this is charming. Earlier this week, the Duggars–a very holy group of people who have lots of babies for Jesus and complain about gay people all the time–went on a very holy sledding excursion. You know, just some good old-fashioned fun of the sort people had before we all became wealthy newspaper magnates, going around and dropping our snow globes all over the damn floor.
Part of this wholesome fun, however, entailed the Duggar’s son-in-law, Derrick Dillard, deliberately sledding into a cat as the whole family looked on and cackled like horrific sociopathic monsters.
Ok. Like, I get that I am an evil atheist librul social justice warrior and whathaveyou, and that I am far too biased and set in my ways to fully understand the ways of such a god-fearing family. But this is some MacDonald triad shit, right? Like, I really want to believe that deliberately running into a cat on a sled, and like, laughing about it, and going so far as to post it online as exemplary of one’s whimsical adventures is not an OK thing to do in any circle. Everyone, collectively, thinks this is terrible, right? I honestly feel like I don’t know anymore.
I am trying super hard to “devil’s advocate” myself and imagine what the defense of this act would even sound like. Maybe that I, and the rest of the liberal media, are only pretending to be upset about someone running over a cat in a sled on purpose because we want to make the Duggars look bad?
I mean, maybe I am biased in this instance. But I feel pretty confident that if Elizabeth Warren were to go riding on sleds into cats that I would still be like “HOLY FUCK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ELIZABETH WARREN? THIS IS HORRIBLE! WHY? WHAT DID THAT CAT EVER DO TO YOU?” I imagine I’d be far more appalled if she were to do that than I am by the Duggars doing so. In fact, I’m only moderately surprised that the Duggars go around sledding into cats for funsies. But hey, who am I to question what Jesus would do?
Retraction: It seems I was incorrect to assume that conservatives would oppose the idea of attempting to sled into a cat, as several commenters of that persuasion on here and on our Facebook page have been kind enough to tell me. I don’t know what to say. I guess, you know, I’m sorry and I will never again infer that you would oppose such a thing.