Judge Roy Moore Is Real Confused About How Bisexuality Works

I’m starting to suspect that Alabama Judge has some rare and unusual disease that is triggered only by gay people getting married anywhere near him. The second this happens, Judge Moores spleen begins to heat up the rest of his organs, and with each further marriage, he comes closer and closer to spontaneously combusting.

Right now, this is the only logical reason I can imagine for why he is scraping his nails at the bottom of the barrel trying to find some possible reason why the Supreme Court should let his state continue banning same-sex marriage.

The latest? Well, Judge Moore is now wondering if same sex marriage will lead to bisexual people and “transgendereds” (as he says) having massive polygamous families. He voiced his “concerns” Monday in an interview with the Associated Press.

“You’re taking any definition of a family away. When two bisexuals or two transgendered marry, how large is that family? Can they marry two persons, one of the same sex and one of the opposite sex? Then, you’ve got a family of four or how many?”

Well, Roy. When two bisexual people and two trans* people love each other very much and want to get married…they do not suddenly gain super powers that allow them to self-multiply and split into other people. So, yeah. They’re still just two people. Often two people of opposite genders, even!

However! And I can’t believe I even have to say this…

That is not at all how bisexuality works, and certainly not how being transgender works. Where that came from, I don’t even know. I mean, sure, there are polyamorous people of all identities, but neither all bisexual people nor all trans* people are polyamorous. Neither identity has anything to do with not being monogamous.

Now, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again–I literally could not care less if people want to have polygamous marriages. The list of things I have to worry about supersedes that for a mile. I mean, as long as I don’t have to be in one. Do I have to be in one? No? Then I don’t care. There are Mormons and polyamorists doing it in an unofficial capacity, and it has yet to affect my life. Other than the fact that I think there could maybe be more interesting shows on TLC than “Sister Wives.” Like a show that’s just that dude who lives as a baby. I’d watch that.

But nevertheless, I’m gonna try to be an optimist and take it as a positive sign that things are going our way when the opposition is coming up with this kind of ridiculousness.


[h/t The New Civil Rights Movement]