Roundup: Fox News Reacts To The Oscars

Several times yesterday, I quite nearly posted about a thing someone on Fox News said about the Oscars. Then, before I could even get something together, another person on Fox had said an even more ridiculous thing about the Oscars. So you know what? I decided to just do a roundup.

The main thing you need to know, as we start on our journey, is that Fox News was not pleased with the fact that “American Sniper” did not win all the awards, and pretty convinced that this was a major conspiracy of some sort. Because Hollywood is all filled with evil leftists now that Ronald Reagan isn’t there to rat all the commies out.

The other thing you need to know is that they were not happy about all the mean Hollywood leftists saying leftist things while accepting their awards.

THAT BEING SAID.

Then “Fox and Friends” rang up Donald Trump to get his opinion, and Donald Trump wanted to know exactly what was going on with all those Mexicans coming for our precious American awards. Why? How did this happen? Isn’t this AMERICA? Why are Mexicans allowed to just storm the stage at the Oscars and steal awards from hardworking Americans?

“It was a great night for Mexico, as usual,” he said, “This guy kept getting up and up and up. What’s he doing? He’s walking away with all the gold? Was it that good? I don’t hear that. It was a big night for them.”

Why did no one stop him? DO WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL? Elizabeth Hasselbeck obviously agreed with Trump that the whole thing was a hot mess, and suggested that “American Sniper” not winning all of the awards was evidence of a grand leftist Hollywood conspiracy. Donald Trump also disliked all the set design and pretty much everything about the whole show. He felt it lacked in majesty. luckily, he has a solution! Next year, get that Donald Trump guy to host the Oscars, so he can show them how it’s done!

Later on in that same “Fox and Friends” broadcast, “Clueless” (IN MORE THAN ONE WAY) actress Stacey Dash weighed in with her feelings about the Oscars. For the first time, anyway. She comes up later.

Dash was practically in tears explaining how deeply appalled she was by Patricia Arquette’s speech about wage equality, which she erroneously seems to believe is already a reality for all women in this country.

Like Trump, she misses the majesty.

Dash and Hasselbeck agreed that “American Sniper” was robbed and didn’t win all of the Oscars because of the time Clint Eastwood yelled at that chair. They point out that way more people went to go see “American Sniper” than saw “Birdman,” which is of course how one determines who wins an Oscar. This is why Michael Bay has all the Oscars.

Anyway, Dash was also mad about the fact that so many “lefties” said “lefty” things in their speeches. Like Arquette with wage equality, and John Legend with voter ID laws. She claims that if a conservative were to get up there and talk about conservative causes, everyone would be mad and call them a racist and a homophobe and they wouldn’t be cheered or whatever.

First of all, when Patricia Arquette later said some messed up shit backstage she basically killed all the goodwill she had gained from her speech and everyone is super pissed at her now. So there’s that. Second, yeah, if someone got up and accepted an Oscar and said, “We need to stop the gays from getting married! And outlaw abortion!” they probably would not get a standing ovation. Sorry! I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not a grand conspiracy. Just, you know, not really the right audience for that.

Later on in the day, the subject was brought up again on “Outnumbered.” Jesse Watters was especially upset about John Legend complaining about voter ID laws being racist, because, he claims some states that have voter ID have seen an increase in black voting. This is not, in fact, true.

Watters then explained that he would be OK with women talking about women’s rights if they talked about like, how women’s rights are bad in other countries. All the hosts agreed, because women in this country should really just shut up and be happy that no one is mutilating their genitals.

What else did the hosts agree on? Well. Certainly the fact that “American Sniper” was robbed, but also the fact that Stacey Dash should totally win an Oscar and it is a travesty that she has not. Perhaps for her role as Dr. Annie Jones in “Lapdance”? I don’t know.

Perhaps if they are this upset about the Oscars and the way they feel the Oscars are out to get them, they should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and do their own awards show and give all the prizes to Clint Eastwood and Stacey Dash. There. Problem solved.