Bodybuilders Are Drinking Breast Milk, And I Quit Reality For Today

So apparently there’s a bodybuilding trend that I’ve missed out on in my time away from bodybuilding forums: Breast milk! Of course.

I don’t know what kind of pseudoscience is behind this fad, but it probably has something to do with this hilarious joke (thanks, Reddit) regarding how quickly infants grow while drinking breast milk. I guess some people are buying it for the “extra protein,” but this ABC report breaks down the nutrition information, and cow milk has way more protein and way fewer carbs than human breast milk. This guy says that it’s a great supplement because it has human growth hormone, but apparently experts say that HGH in breast milk will have little to no effect on adults.

Guys … just … no. Stop it. Stop it. What are you doing, guys? You’ve got me all incoherent over here. Stop. This is just ridiculous. On top of the fact that you could get strep or salmonella from the breast milk you’re buying online (which, just so we’re clear, will slow down your recovery time significantly), just consider the fact that you are eating baby food. You are Benjamin Buttoning yourselves into infancy. Enough people think that bodybuilders are giant babies. Stop hitting yourselves image-wise, guys. Stop hitting yourselves.

Also, can we just pause for a minute to appreciate the fact that ABC’s Liz Neporent hears that some guys are taking gorilla hormones, but her “too far” lands somewhere around breast milk? Is breast milk really more far-fetched than gorilla hormones? Liz, I beg to differ.

Well, I think that’s all the fitness-related bafflement I can handle for today. Excuse me while I go eat human adult food.

[ABC]

[Reddit]

[Yahoo! News]

[Bodybuilding]

[FOX]


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