Alabama Judge: Same-Sex Marriage Will Lead To Father-Daughter Marriage

Alabama Supreme Court Judge Roy Moore–he of the 10 Commandments plaque–appeared on ABC’s Goodmorning, America Tuesday morning to have a chat about why he is so goshdarn upset about a federal judge invalidating his state’s dumb ban on same-sex marriages.

He was so upset about it, in fact, that on Sunday, in anticipation of the decision, he ordered his probate judges to refuse marriage certificates to gay couples.

Moore insists that the federal judge’s order is invalid, since he is the only one with the “authority” to tell judges who to issue marriage certificates to and he was not named in the lawsuit. He also went full George Wallace by claiming that it is a state’s rights issue (Sound familiar? Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?), and not up to the Federal Government.

It is a well known fact that if you give someone like Roy Moore room to speak, he will start saying ridiculous things. For one, he insists he will not be “on the wrong side of history” on this one, and–naturally–that he simply fears that allowing gay couples to marry will result in mothers and sons and fathers and daughters wanting the right to marry as well. You know, because that is a thing that people want.

“Do they stop with one man and one man or one woman and one woman? Or do they go to multiple marriages? Or do they go to marriages between men and their daughters or women and their sons?”

Here’s the thing.

Roy Moore does not actually believe that same-sex marriage will lead to a single one of these things. No one believes that. Gay marriage is now legal in a plurality of the states and yet, somehow, there has not been a single request for anyone to marry their child or their golden retriever.

I should note, at this point, that the state of Alabama just made sex with a golden retriever illegal last year. Before that, bestiality wasn’t even a crime. It is still not a crime, by the way, in Texas, Hawaii, Kentucky, Virginia, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Vermont, West Virginia, Montana,Wyoming and the District of Columbia.

May I also note that it is 100% legal to marry your first cousin in the state of Alabama.

People like Roy Moore are not legitimately “scared” of what same-sex marriage could lead to. This is not about that. This is about a deeply-held desire to be legally better than another group of people. This is about wanting to sit in the VIP section. This, on a very basic level, is about self-esteem.

You’ve got people who are still real bummed that they don’t get to be legally better than black people. Like hey, they could be poor white trash, but at one point they could still say to themselves “Well, at least I’m not a black person, and I can sit in whatever section of the bus I like.” Now all they have is “Well, at least I’m not a gay person, and my marriage is special and sacred and they don’t get to have that.”

We live in a capitalist society–culturally as well as socially. The way you know you’re doing all right in a capitalist society is by being better than someone else. Everything is a pyramid. Allowing gay people to be married eliminates a major buffer at the bottom of our social pyramid.

This is why every step we have made in the arena of civil rights–for women, for black people, for other people of color, for LGBT people–has been fought tooth-and-nail. It’s why we still don’t have the damned ERA.

It has to do, nearly entirely, with the all-too-human desire to feel special. Now, I’m not excusing bigoted behavior, but I believe that’s what is at the root of this, and all opposition to civil rights in general. People want to feel special. They want to be Mommy’s favorite–not because of anything they have specifically done, but just because they’re them.

We have all experienced this on some level. I fully admit to having had some bigoted attitudes about people in the South when I was younger that I had to check myself on. Even now, I’ll say dismissive things about “bros” and people who hang out in Lincoln Park–with the premise of those statements essentially being that I am better than them on some level because I am, of course, a fabulous and very deep intellectual person. Which is also an ignorant thing to do. It’s all part of the same instinct, and it’s shitty either way, but it’s especially shitty when you try to enact legislation to preserve your specialness at the expense of others.

So hey. Bigots. It’s time to give up the ghost, because this isn’t going to last much longer. Soon, gay marriage will be legal all over the country and you’re going to have to find something else to make you feel special. Maybe pick up a musical instrument or something, develop a bunch of Zooey Deschanel-style quirks, I don’t know. Just this time, try to pick something that doesn’t actually hurt anybody. [RawStory]