Deadline’s Editor-In-Chief Is Either Bad At Jokes Or Seriously Butthurt Over “Magic Mike XXL”

Earlier this morning, pretty much every woman with a pulse and an Internet connection collectively lost her shit over the greatest thing I’ve seen all year: the “Magic Mike XXL” trailer. All it took was one minute and 37 seconds of sweatpant-clad grinding (and one very adorable dorky spin at the end) to unify women across party lines, all for the love of Channing Tatum, Channing Tatum’s neck, and um, other parts of Channing Tatum’s body. But that gleeful collective enthusiasm, the shared joy of being able to, for once, be able to gawk at men the same way the film industry has been objectifying women for over 100 years, well that just was un-fucking-acceptable for Mike Fleming, Jr., editor in chief of once-readable Hollywood blog, Deadline Hollywood.

In a short post that I will not link to, but will reproduce in its entirety below so that you can join in my rage, Fleming thoughtfully ponders this tough question: “Hot Trailer: ‘Magic Mike XXL.’ Is This What Women Really Want?” (Answer: Yes. Could have saved you a paragraph there, Mike.)

He ascertains the following (emphasis mine):

Warner Bros has released a new teaser trailer for Magic Mike XXL, and I must say that I am shocked, shocked by this whole exercise of male objectification. They marginalize brains, and the inevitable lovable paunch that comes with being a breadwinner and not having time to pump oneself into an aerobicized lug who writhes onstage for plus-sized patrons wielding rolled up one dollar bills. The film opens July 1, and women, and men, will certainly drag their significant other to the theater. The lingering question: will it will be an impediment to post-movie romance because real men are not ab-worthy compared to the aerobicized Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer and Joe Mangianello? Or will it the best wing man a guy could ever wish for?

Male objectification! I will wholeheartedly and openly admit that I am not just kind of lusting after men based on their bodies, I am entirely objectifying these men with my female gaze. Absolutely. And sure I want equality, but after not having had it for years, and seeing women as dispensable pieces of meat in film for so long, you better believe I am going to enjoy one of the very few films where men’s main function is to dance, strip and writhe entirely for my pleasure. And that breadwinner line? I would gladly win my own bread (as I currently do, and plan to continue to do in perpetuity, as do most modern women), if it would assure me that I never have to read anything from Fleming ever again.

I realize that Fleming is likely trying to do something satirical, but … Deadline is not a humor site. It’s an industry news site. The tags on that post (and, yes, that was the entire post) are “Video, News, Trailers, Channing Tatum, Magic Mike XXL, Warner Bros.” And the biggest requirement when writing a humorous post is that, well, it has to be funny. Who was this mocking? Feminists? Their regular arguments about objectification, inequality, and even wage disparity? “Plus-sized patrons” because those are the only types of women who you can mock for watching a movie like this? Whoops, my bad, I totally get it now, mocking women is hiiiiiiilarious.

I would spend more time stressing about this, but I’m told that Fleming will be dropping an even hotter take on how women should be consuming their entertainment in ways that are approved by him when the actual movie comes out. Until then, I’ll just be watching this “Magic Mike XXL” trailer ad infinitum, because yes, it is what I want.