Jimmy Kimmel’s Latest “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” Will Make You Feel Old As Balls

Usually the point of Jimmy Kimmel’s “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” is to make you feel a little better about yourself, given the fact that incredibly beautiful and rich people still get vitriolic shit, just like normals. (My karma — at taking delight in this — and I will sort ourselves out later, thanks.) But last night’s music edition of “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets” will likely just have you feeling like a lame old person, because I swear to god, I don’t know who half of these people are.

What is 5 Seconds of Summer? Why does summer only last five seconds? Why would anyone want that, let alone name a band after such a thing? Who is that little ginger goblin? I don’t think he looks like shit, but I do have a lot of followup questions. I’m 27 but I feel 43. Very soon, my own children will be turning down Jordan Knight singles in the car so that I can’t hear the lyrics, not that it matters because I won’t understand the lyrics anyways. I’m on that side of the fence now, instead of the side that is turned on by Jordan Knight lyrics far too long after New Kids on the Block broke up.

Everything is terrible. Thanks, Jimmy.