Man Whose Wife Chopped His Wang Off Twice Might Do Porn

Remember our friend Fan Lung, the unfaithful man in China whose wife chopped his penis off twice? Remember how the doctors re-attached it, then his wife came back in his hospital room like, “Nope, sorry bud,” and chopped it off AGAIN and threw it to the street? Well, a porn company wants to help his rehabilitation by offering him a starring role in a movie of his very own.  The Mirror reports that company Bang You Later reached out to our possibly-penis-less friend. Here’s what they had to say:

We would like to make a porn film that features you and your current romantic partner, Zhang Hung…

Our intention is to help you financially through this incredibly delicate time but to also help you to restore your sexual confidence.

It has been repeatedly demonstrated that being intimate on camera can function as a liberating and effective form of therapy.

Oh, word?

Some questions persist. Last we heard, this man’s wife threw his dick into the street. Policemen and what I hope was a search party of concerned citizens combed the streets looking for this shit, and didn’t find it. A gang of dogs or perhaps some industrious and ambitious feral cats ran off with that shit, and surely ate it, right? Like, how is dude gonna do porn if he doesn’t have a penis? Can we somehow get confirmation that he will indeed have a functioning penis? Or, is his mistress going to just like, lick around the area? Is Bang You Later getting him a new, fake ween? So many questions, not nearly enough answers. Please send all theories my way. [Mirror]