Hershey’s Has Banned The Import Of British Chocolate
Update on the whole Cadbury Egg situation: No British chocolate will be imported into the United States anymore, after Hershey’s made a deal with the group Let’s Buy British Imports to cease the import of any British candies that have packaging that looks like Hershey’s packaging. Considering how many Hershey’s candies exist, that pretty much means that there will be no more British candies in America, period. Oh, and that Cadbury thing? Forget what anyone told you in the immediate aftermath of the news about it not affecting the United States. Hershey’s has a license to manufacture Cadbury Eggs with the licensed Cadbury name, but a new and inferior chocolate recipe.
I don’t even care about Cadbury — where am I going to get my fucking Bendick’s?! Is there no food-industry Winston Churchill saying “Let us not be dragged down the slippery slope”? What’s next, a ban on Dutch-processed cocoa? I shiver to think of a world in which chalky, disgusting Hershey cocoa powder is the only cocoa powder I have available with which to make cakes and chocolate syrup. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, SIRS.
And I’m only barely kidding. I seriously would move to Europe if the Hershey reach went so far as cocoa powder. It’s already halfway impossible to get some European candies without going through back channels. If the goods can’t come to me, obviously I’m going to have to go to the goods. Can we call this un-American, by the way? Like, if it shuts down American retail stores that specialize in British goods and gives Americans who happen to really love good chocolate an impetus to pack up and leave?
Anyway, I guess I’m going to have to start hoarding my Valrhona and Callebaut in case Hershey’s decides to turn its sights on France and Belgium, too.
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