LA Restaurant To Offer $50 Water Tasting Classes

Every once in a while, usually in the dead of winter, I consider moving to LA. [Ditto. — Amelia] Half of my friends are there now, and also I sometimes think it would be nice to just once live in a place without blistery cold weather for half the year. I grew up in New England and Western New York, and then moved to Chicago. Nice weather during the winter months is a thing I have yet to experience for more than a week’s vacation.

But, of course, there are things that stop me. Mostly the fact that I firmly dislike the idea of taking up driving again or having conversations about juicing. Not to mention things like, oh, a restaurant offering $50 water tasting classes.

Like, for 50 American dollars, you can go to this place called Patina, and try a bunch of different kinds of water, and learn about the fundamentals of water. The classes are also offered at another place called Ray’s & Stark Bar, at which they have a 45-page menu of just water. Really? 45 pages? Of water? How many different flavors of non-flavored water could there possibly be? And some of the water on the menu is like $18. Eighteen dollars! For water! I would not normally pay that for a cocktail, and water doesn’t even get you drunk, so for $18 it had better taste better than literally anything in the whole world.

I don’t know. I like water. Like, a lot. I regularly drink way more than eight cups a day. I am drinking it right now. I also enjoy some Pelligrino on occasion when I’m feeling fancy.

And yet, there is no part of me that can fathom why or how anyone would feel like a 45 page menu of water or a $50 water tasting class would be at all necessary or worth paying lots of money for. Unless one is really invested in finding new and interesting ways to bore people at parties. How different can water possibly be? I mean, sure, there is gross water. Florida water tastes like pool water, if you ask me. But if water is good … it doesn’t taste like anything.

I will admit that I kind of think most people are lying when they talk about wine flavors. I am a girl who likes her wine, for sure, but I am pretty sure that half of all wine-talk and wine-descriptions are total bullshit. I would imagine that it would be the same deal for water.

Also, oh my god, sitting and listening to someone talk about the different flavors of water based on mineral content sounds like my actual worst nightmare given how much I hated taking Geology in college. And can you imagine how long the lines for the bathroom are? Yikes. [Eater]