“Cannibal Cop,” Fresh Out Of Jail, Looks For Love On Match.com

“Cannibal Cop” Gilberto Valle is fresh out of jail and ready to find his forever-person. To refresh your memory: Gilberto Valle is that NYPD officer who was eventually convicted for plotting to kidnap, kill, cook and eat his then-wife. His conviction was eventually thrown out by a judge, who said that Valle’s scheme to eat his wife for dinner was merely a fantasy, a statement that I’m pretty sure she’d disagree with. The New York Post reports that the “Cannibal Cop” is now on Match.com — username AmicableOne15, y’all — and he’s looking for someone with a taste for wine, fine dining and a copious amount of understanding. To quote his profile:

“I am spending my energy rebounding from the errors I made in my past and rebuilding my life. Things are progressing very well on that front, and i am just beginning a new career.”

So, single friends, this is what it’s come down to. We wade through the muck and the mire of the online dating pool, casting aside weird mama’s boys, I-bankers, “nice guys” and hand job enthusiasts, only to be left with dudes who are probably creeping on their actual girlfriends, and someone who made a legitimate binder full of plans on how to kidnap, kill, cook and eat his wife. Cool. I’m fine being single for the rest of my life, thanks! Check out some screenshots from his actual, real-life, still-up profile below the jump.  [NY Post]