For Just $25, This Fake Boyfriend Will Be More Attentive Than Your Real Boyfriend

As someone who is well versed in making up fake boyfriends, and even better at making them zero percent believable [Hello Jamie from Escondido, who was a bad fake boyfriend given that A) all of my friends had actually met the real Jamie from Escondido, and B) we had met him at CHEERLEADING CAMP], I can attest to the naive foolishness that leads a lady to invent a relationship that does not exist.

It’s a wish fulfillment boyfriend, cobbled together of all the best bits of real life boyfriends, and helps take the sting out of being seemingly forever alone. For others, there are less pathetic reasons: undisclosed changes in sexual preferences to nagging family members, nagging family members in general, creeps who won’t get the hint without a fabricated screenshot from a suave romeo. Whatever your reason is for inventing a fake lover, Invisible Boyfriend (And Girlfriend) is here to make that soul-crushing process a little easier.

The St. Louis based startup allows users to create a fake long distance boyfriend or girlfriend with a solid amount of personalization, on the cheap. You pick his name, age, and personality type, as well as picking out a photo of your dream dude or dudette out of a veritable police lineup of options, with a fair amount of diversity in race, body type, and beard variety. You can even craft your own back story for the reason for the distance, or go with Invisible Boyfriend’s stock paragraph of having met at a party through friends.  The price tag doesn’t just come with a plausible lie though — it includes the things that make a fake relationship real: minor proof. For $24.99 per month, users get 100 text messages — including selfies, 10 voicemails, and one handwritten letter (what is love, if you can’t Instagram a corner of his love scrawl?).

According to co-founder Matt Homann, the texts and voicemails are assured to be realistic, rather than bot-like. Though Homann and co-founder Kyle Tabor don’t divulge how they make the communication so life life, tech blog Betabeat reported, “Mr. Homann said the recipe is a ‘secret sauce,’ but hinted that ‘you can tell in many cases there’s a real person on the other end of the message.'”

I signed up for the service, because I’m a normal functioning human who is no way, shape or form so lonely that I’m in danger of accidentally falling for my fake boyfriend, and customizing him was a process that was significantly more fraught than I expected it to be: being able to create the perfect boyfriend is just as hard as finding an imperfect one willing to date you.

After a lot of work trying to figure out the least annoying name possible for the fake boyfriend that was mainly only going to get mentioned to my coworkers, I finally cobbled together this little Pinocchio: 29-year-old fake Max.

As it turns out, Invisible Boyfriend was right: the texting is pretty realistic, including the response rate from my cheesy new boyfriend, which is really great, because all I wanted as an antidote to worrying about whether a real human man will return my text is sitting around watching a robot ignore me too. Detailed review of Invisible Boyfriend to come, but suffice to say this is the most entertaining (and also terrifyingly eye-opening) $25 I’ve spent all year.

[Betabeat]

[Image via Shutterstock]