John Boehner Goes Full Buzzfeed, With Taylor Swift GIFs And Everything

There are a lot of things to find disconcerting about John Boehner, and about Republican politicians in general. Their weird hang-ups about gay people and birth control, their whole creepy Scrooge McDuck “screw the poor” vibe, the way they want to pretend racism doesn’t exist anymore so that they don’t have to hear anyone complaining about it … but there is nothing–I tell you nothing–more disconcerting than a Republican trying to be hip and with it. It’s just wrong.

Every once in a while, the GOP tries to appeal to the young whippersnappers of today … by imitating Buzzfeed. In 2013, the National Republican Congressional Committee attempted to remodel it’s site in order to make room for more Buzzfeed type listicles.

Now, John Boehner’s site has an article up, written by two members of the Speaker’s communications staff, featuring 12 Taylor Swift GIFs explaining why free community college is a bad idea.

It’s basically the internet equivalent of your dad dressing up like Devo and trying to hang out with you and your friends while speaking in 1950s beatnik lingo in hopes of “relating.” Or like Amy Poehler being the “cool mom” in Mean Girls. It’s all very “uncanny valley.” I’m sorry, but politics aside, it’s super weird to try and be “cool” when you’re still squeamish around the gays and mad that people have sex before marriage. If you’re going to be Archie Bunker, at least own it. It’s an abject fact that the least cool thing on earth is trying to pretend you are something you’re not.

That being said, Taylor Swift is an interesting choice for this GIF round-up, as Taylor Swift did not go to college, community or otherwise. And yeah, you might not need to go to college if you’re Taylor Swift and you have a record deal, and your parents are willing to move your family out to wherever that is– but I’m gonna get out on a limb here and say that college is probably helpful to most people who are not Taylor Swift. And it sucks that so many of them do not have that opportunity.

Yes. Someone is going to have to pay for this tuition. But you know what? I’m gonna say it’s worth it. This is an investment I can get behind, 100%. Sure, we’re gonna have to steal from the rich and give to the poor to do it– but hey! Guess what, rich people? This will work out for you, too, in the long run. With more people attending college, you will have a more qualified workforce to choose from. The more money people make, the more money they can spend. The more we educate people in this country, the better things work out for all of us.

The way this will work, is that this will be a student loan from all of us. We’ll be getting that money back, probably tenfold. Rather than racking up debt, people will go to school, and they come out of it being better able to earn a living than they were before. They will then contribute more tax money to the system, and generate more money to put back into our economy than they would have without the benefit of that education. Very likely, this will all amount to much more than the $6000 that two years of community college cost.

The only people this is likely to affect in any negative way are the banks, whom I guess will all be like this when they have less of that sweet, sweet student loan money rolling in.

[The Verge]