People Are Freaking The Hell Out Over The “Unfriended” Trailer

When I woke up this morning and turned on the Twitter, I immediately noticed that one of the things trending was “Unfriended.”

“HUH.” Says I. Perhaps a lot of people are feeling unpopular right now? Being curious, I clicked on it, and it turns out that “Unfriended” is a movie produced by MTV that’s coming out soon. A SCARY MOVIE. And people, apparently, are incredibly scared by the trailer. Which is weird, because the acting in it is really, really bad.

From what I can tell by the trailer, “Unfriended” tells the story of a girl named Laura, who was cyberbullied by someone who uploaded a video of her being drunk (and maybe getting naked? I’m not sure). She gets tormented by the internet and then a few days later, she kills herself on video and posts it to the internet. Or someone does. You know, because she’s dead.

A year later, all of her friends are talking on Skype or Google Hangouts or a generic movie version thereof, which is I guess what the kids are into these days, when a MYSTERIOUS PERSON named “Billie227″ pops up in their conversation and is like “Say who uploaded that video, or I will kill each of you one by one.”

Can I just say that this is a terrible strategy for extracting information?  Like, if you are actually trying to find out who in a group of people did a thing, randomly killing them is not going to help. Because what if you kill the person who did first, and none of the other people know it was them? You’re not getting any answers that way!

Anyway, there’s a bunch of footage of these people being maimed and whatnot, ostensibly by the Skype monster, and then a dude getting his hand stuck in a blender. SCARY.

I’m a bit of a horror movie connoisseur, so perhaps it takes a lot to actually scare me? I feel like I can already kind of narrow down who the killer will be, anyway.

  1. Laura herself– faked her death and is now exacting revenge.
    The dude holding the camera during her suicide who had always been secretly in love with her.
    Her sister.
    Her best friend from childhood who was too much of a nerd to hang out with the cool Skype kids and had resented them all along for stealing Laura away.
    A Jackeé Superfan named Billie, also Laura’s childhood friend.