12 Times Last Night’s Golden Globe Awards Gave Us Life

Last night’s Golden Globe Awards, hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler — who should really be hosing eveything, ever — were pretty damn entertaining considering I forgot to pick up booze before I became chained to my laptop for the evening. They were also decidedly more political than usual, with a number of winners giving rousing speeches about issues like racis, sexism, violence against women and trans rights, while Tina and Amy were on fire, slaying some seriously on point — and feminist — jokes about George Clooney and Bill Cosby. It wasn’t also serious business — Jared Leto debuted a new ‘do and George Clooney made every woman except all of his ex-girlfriends swoon. [And then there were some duds that, in an effort to focus on the positive, I won’t mention.*]  Here are the moments that made us raise up our hands and say “YASSSSSSS.”

1. Tina and Amy list Amal Alamuddin Clooney’s many achievements. And then point out that it’s her husband who’s receiving the award.

2. Tina jokes, “The movie #SELMA is about the American Civil Rights Movement that totally worked and now everything’s fine.”

3. The hosts unload a series of razor sharp Bill Cosby jokes, including two dead on impressions, that cut deep. Jessica Chastain literally FACEPALMS.

4. Joanna Frogatt wins Best Supporting Actress for “Downton Abbey.” She dedicates her award to rape survivors.

5. “Transparent” deservedly wins Best TV Series Comedy. They dedicate the win to Leelah Alcorn.

6. PRINCE. That is all.

7. Common and John Legend win Best Song for “Glory” from the movie “Selma” and give a rousing speech about race and equality. “The first day I stepped on the set of Selma, I began to feel like this is bigger than a movie,” Common says. “As I got to know the people of the Civil Rights Movement, I realized, I am the hopeful black woman who was denied her right to vote. I am the caring white reporter, killed on the front lines of freedom. I am the unarmed black kid, who maybe needed a hand, but instead was given a bullet. I am the two fallen police officers, murdered in the line of duty. Selma has awakened my humanity.”

8. Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda — next year’s hosts, please? — are so glad people realize dudes CAN be funny after all. “Men, at last, are getting the recognition they deserve.”

9. Jeffrey Tambor wins Best Actor in a TV Comedy and dedicates his award to the trans community. “This is big. This is much bigger than me.”

10. Maggie Gyllenhaal wins for “The Honerable Woman” and weighs in on the debate over “strong roles” for women in Hollywood. “What I think is new is the wealth of roles for actual women in television and film,” she says, adding that it’s “turning [her] on.”

11. Jared Leto rocks a man braid. DEAD.

12. While debuting his campaign video accepting his lifetime achievement award, Clooney makes women — save the long list of women who were NOT someones to love, apparently — swoon. “It’s a humbling thing when you find someone to love, even better if you’ve been waiting your whole life. And when you’re whole life is 53 years … Amal, whatever alchemy brought us together, I couldn’t be prouder to be your husband.”

* “Selma” was robbed though. And “The Affair”? Really? Also, that North Korea bit had to go.