Discuss: Is This Usher’s Dick?

My inner monologue was just lamenting the lack of anything particularly newsworthy today, even a damn celebrity sex tape, when lo and behold, Usher’s maybe-dick popped up on my laptop screen. Oh Santa, better late than never! Apparently, the two images that were posted online by Diary of a Hollywood Street King are pulled from a sex tape the R&B singer made with his then wife, Tameka Foster, which was stolen from his car in 2010. Usher’s face isn’t in either shot, but his alleged (dick) head is shown being, uh, orally nuzzled by a woman who looks an awful lot like Foster. I am personally unfamiliar with Usher’s penis, so I can neither confirm nor deny it’s validity, but it’s a nice looking dong and it got me dreaming up new lyrics for a remix of “My Way” called “My Ween.” So, you know, this penis, whoever it belongs to, has served some purpose on this Boxing Day. [Gawker]

UPDATE: The bad news is the No Fun Police came by and said we had to take the photos down. The good news is, in the process, they totally confirmed that the dick in question did indeed belong to Usher. Mystery solved!