Most Americans Want To Vastly Either Over- Or Under-Pay Santa Claus
Insure.com figured out a salary for Santa Claus based on his tasks — engineering (managing toy production), auditing (seeing who’s naughty or nice), and piloting chief (flying around his pack of reindeer) among them — and it came out to around $140,000 a year. Excuse me, that’s not accounting for stealth operations. It costs a lot to hire someone who’s capable of landing a sleigh on a roof, breaking into a home, depositing goods, and only leaving traces of cookies behind without making any noise. Multiply that by the number of houses he has to enter and you’ve got yourself a salary well above $140,000, my friend.
Anyway, they then surveyed 1,000 Americans to see what they thought of that salary. Only 16 percent thought that it was reasonable; 29 percent thought that he shouldn’t get paid anything at all, though, and another 29 percent thought that he should get paid $1.8 billion (or a dollar for every child under 15 in the world). The Fraternal Order of Real Bearded Santas were among those who thought he should be doing free labor for the world’s children.
Like I said, Insure.com isn’t accounting for stealth operations, but then again, not every single one of the 1.8 billion children in the world who are under 15 celebrates Christmas. Could we settle around $20 million? Or maybe just, like, one dollar more than Donald Trump makes every year, just to annoy him?
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