17 Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmastime (In GIFs)

I love Christmas, but I loathe the mall at Christmastime. From assholes who steal parking spaces to children running wild and wailing around Santaland, here are 17 reasons we try to avoid the mall at all costs in December. Or, in other words, why I believe in drunk Christmas shopping (in GIFs!)

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 1

1. Santaland. Enough said.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 2

2. Children running around on sugar highs while their parents look on with no fucks to give.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 3

3. Hearing the same five bubblegum Christmas songs in Every. Single. Store.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 4

4. Trying to find a parking space when there are none available and then having to rush through the stores because it took that goddamn long.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 5

5. Then when you do find a spot, some jackass tries to steal it.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 6

6. An overflowing line at the mall’s one and only Starbucks.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 7

7. Grabby, sticky-handed children wanting everything they see.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 8

8. Running into people you have absolutely no desire to see or make small talk with.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 9

9. People hitting you with their armloads of bags.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 10

10. Having to wait on 30-minute lines for a pair of $5 gloves.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 11

11. Overly cheerful retail workers.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 12

12. Nothing in the store is where it’s supposed to be.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 13

13. Fighting for the last of any item.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 14

14. Retail workers who won’t leave you the fuck alone to shop in peace.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 15

15. Disapproving looks from strangers for no apparent reason.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 16

16. An abundance of incompetent, stupid people.

Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmas 17

17. You enter the mall with money and leave the mall with no money or tolerance for others.