17 Reasons Everybody Hates The Mall At Christmastime (In GIFs)
I love Christmas, but I loathe the mall at Christmastime. From assholes who steal parking spaces to children running wild and wailing around Santaland, here are 17 reasons we try to avoid the mall at all costs in December. Or, in other words, why I believe in drunk Christmas shopping (in GIFs!)
1. Santaland. Enough said.
2. Children running around on sugar highs while their parents look on with no fucks to give.
3. Hearing the same five bubblegum Christmas songs in Every. Single. Store.
4. Trying to find a parking space when there are none available and then having to rush through the stores because it took that goddamn long.
5. Then when you do find a spot, some jackass tries to steal it.
6. An overflowing line at the mall’s one and only Starbucks.
7. Grabby, sticky-handed children wanting everything they see.
8. Running into people you have absolutely no desire to see or make small talk with.
9. People hitting you with their armloads of bags.
10. Having to wait on 30-minute lines for a pair of $5 gloves.
11. Overly cheerful retail workers.
12. Nothing in the store is where it’s supposed to be.
13. Fighting for the last of any item.
14. Retail workers who won’t leave you the fuck alone to shop in peace.
15. Disapproving looks from strangers for no apparent reason.
16. An abundance of incompetent, stupid people.
17. You enter the mall with money and leave the mall with no money or tolerance for others.