A Small Sampling Of The Weirdest And Most Useless Black Friday Deals

I’m going to try not to let my complete and utter disdain for Black Friday seep through because I’ve done that enough this week. I’ll admit that there are plenty of good Black Friday sales in terms of getting a lower price on something you might need than you’ll get for a whole year.

But if you look around through Black Friday deal lists and catalogs, you’ll find a few weird, offensively overpriced, or flat-out useless items and sales. So, for those of us who are going to sit around scowling on Friday (or, alternatively, ignoring the world and just seeping in the “7/11” video all day), here’s a sampling of those not-so-great Black Friday deals to either laugh or cry about:

  • You can get a hair dryer for the low, low price of $295! That’s down from $340, meaning you’re saving all of 13 percent. As Katie said, “That blow dryer better give blow jobs for that much.”

  • If you spend $40 or more on a fragrance purchase, Ulta will give you … a serving set? What? I don’t understand the correlation. Is Ulta getting into housewares? Why do they have a surplus of three-piece serving sets to give away? This raises questions more than it solves gift-giving problems.

  • Wal-Mart has an Easy Bake Oven on sale in their catalog. Now HOLD ON for a second, because I know you’re going to get mad at me for including this, but this is not adult Rebecca being a snob, this is 7-year-old Rebecca being completely disenchanted with the Easy Bake Oven. First of all, you probably already have an oven-oven. Second, the ingredients for Easy Bake Oven recipes cost way more than actual food ingredients. And third, the end result tastes terrible. Cookies are so easy! Like, they’re easier when you don’t use the Easy Bake Oven than when you do. That being said, it still trumps those Play-Doh sets that make “food” you can’t really eat.

  • Beats by Dre. Also not trying to be a snob here (but possibly being a snob): Beats by Dre are awful headphones. They don’t give you accurate sound, they just automatically pump up the bass. Seriously, why does everyone like these? (I know, the answer is “branding.”) If you want good headphones, go with Sennheisers instead.

  • You can get an inflatable hot tub for $350. Does this strike anyone else as exactly the kind of thing you’d use once, stuff into your shed, and feel bad about not using for five years before finally selling it at a garage sale for $5?

  • On a related note, you can also get Hot Tub Time Machine on DVD for $2. Yeah, so, stuck in the middle of the rest of their online Black Friday catalog, Best Buy just has Hot Tub Time Machine on DVD just hangin’ out. Like, first of all, do people watch DVDs still? Like, if you can’t get it on Blu-Ray, don’t people just stream movies these days? And why Hot Tub Time Machine? Are they just trying to get rid of it because no one even remembers that it exists? I mean, I liked it! But I also forgot about it.

  • In one of their slideshows, Refinery 29 linked to, well, a non-sale. The site, BeautyKind, has no sale going on. They do donate five percent of your purchase to a cause of your choosing, but then, why wouldn’t you just donate that money without shopping? How is this a “beauty deal”? What is going on?

Follow me on Twitter.