20 Ways To Change The Topic At Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving has arrived, and there will be turkey; There will be family; There will be uncomfortable conversations likely involving something political, racial or downright inappropriate. If you’re like any of us here at The Frisky, you’d gladly prefer talking about how you’ve gained weight or why you’re still single over having to endure others’ ignorant opinions about controversial news issues. Don’t want to hear about Ferguson, Bill Cosby’s “innocence” or Obamacare this Thanksgiving? Here are 20 surefire things to say to change the topic and avoid a Turkey Day buzzkill.

1. “Carrie and Saul have got to be dead right? Right?”

2. “So, I had a herpes scare recently…”

3. “How about that Carlton! Who woulda thunk the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air’s best friend would someday win a dancing competition?”

4. “Speaking of the Fresh Prince, who thinks they know all of the lyrics to the theme song?”

5. “So, I recently switched my meds and it’s been weeks since I spent an entire weekend in bed crying in my sleep!”

6. “So what IS the deal with Jay?”

7. “I always thought eggs were like, basically chicken abortions, ya know?”

8. “The best album of the year is obviously Taylor Swift’s 1989…”

9. “How much wood COULD a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I’m really curious. Best guess gets to sit in the living room for the rest of the dinner and watch TV!”

10. “Who wants to play 99 Bottles of Beer on the wall? Okay, great I’ll start.”

11. “Let’s play the quiet game!”

12. “I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 1 million…”

13. “Why is it called Rhode Island when it’s neither a road nor an island?”

14. “I have been having the worrrrrrrst lady sharts lately.”

15. “Tell me, what are your views on dogs wearing sweaters?”

16. “My period was so heavy this month, I literally thought I was going to bleed to death.”

17. “Does this mole look cancerous to you?”

18. If you have a significant other, open up conversation about something trivial with “So, we have some big news…” and finish with “we found a REALLY good rug” or something of the sort.

19. “Who wants to limbo?”

20. “Let’s talk about why you all think I’m still single.”

Good luck and Godspeed. (Note: If all else fails, tell your family you’re late for the next showtime of “The Hunger Games” and hightail it out of there.)