We’ve Got You Covered In Case You Didn’t Know You Needed A Magic Rape-Prevention Facial Expression

Sheesh, I don’t know what these silly broads are so mad about. Ramapo College in New Jersey had their coordinator of Substance Abuse and Violence Prevention lead a super-helpful presentation on college sexual assault. It included the completely innocent suggestion that women learn how to not invite rape with their outfits and practice rape-preventative facial expressions in the mirror at home, and both the student body and various journalistic outfits are getting all up on Ramapo’s asses about it. WOMEN, amirite?!?! Ehhh??

I mean, that’s just sage advice! I know when I was in college, I practiced rape-prevention faces in the mirror all the time so that if I ever felt like maybe I was going to be raped, I could make my rape-preventative face and the potential rapist would step back, guard his face, hiss like a vampire, and then disappear into a cloud of dust! I did it a few times! It worked! It was easy! Why are these lazy broads complaining? All you have to do to prevent rape is have a rapist-dissolving facial expression, a bullet-proof, locked-from-the-inside human-sized hamster ball, never ever ever ever drink, not socialize with men, squash any kind of sexual desire you might ever feel, and also you probably shouldn’t go to parties or leave your home at all. SHEESH. WOMEN.

Ramapo even coddled these Man-Hating Professional Victim SJW Feminazis by tweeting this:

Ramapo College’s approach to sexual assault prevention is and has always been to not blame the victim.

— Ramapo College (@RamapoCollegeNJ) October 31, 2014


Isn’t a vague statement that in no way assumes responsibility for having an employee condescend to the female student body (whose tuition pays the bills for the faculty and administration) enough for you people??? SHEESH. WOMEN. AMIRITE.

Anyway, since I know that the speaker’s suggestion is a real thing that would work in an actual world in which rapists aren’t vampires and facial expressions aren’t accordingly the sun, and my coworkers know it too, we have a gallery of our best anti-rape facial expressions, on which you can model your own. You’re welcome.


Disclaimer: I am obviously not being serious. Also I know lots of the dudes at Ramapo are criticizing the school and good on them.

Tweet your best anti-rape face to me @rebeccavbrink.