20 Most Stunningly On Point Blair Waldorf One-Liners

Of the many icy, headband-wielding women who have traipsed across our screens in television history, Blair Waldorf is by far one of the most legendary. While “Gossip Girl” has long finished filming, Blair’s freakishly coordinated clothing and conniving power plays still linger in my heart. She may be a bitchy control freak, even a bully, but she never pretends to be anyone but herself, and that’s what makes her my favorite Upper East Sider. Every teenage “Gossip Girl” viewer could relate to the fact that no matter how hard Blair tries to create a veneer of perfection, she still struggles with feelings of inadequacy against her sunny, effortless BFF Serena. The self-awareness that separates Blair and Serena is ultimately what makes Queen B so superior. Serena continuously sees herself as some kind of compassionate goddess, oblivious to how selfish her every move is, while Blair is proudly self-serving and a never-ending fountain of grim-but-true wisdom. So, apropos of nothing (okay, maybe it’s to balance out all the attention Serena’s real-life counterpart Blake Lively has been getting lately), here are some of Blair’s most striking zingers after the jump.

1. “Destiny is for losers. It’s just a lame excuse for letting things happen to you instead of making them happen.”

2. “Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish.”

3. “The most important thing in a relationship is trust. After sex. And hygiene. And earning potential.”

4. “Great leaders only need three hours of sleep!”

5.” If you cut revenge out of the Bible, there’s not even enough pages to make a pamphlet.”

6. “By the way, sandals are not shoes.”

7. “Have a little faith, and if that doesn’t work, have a lot of mimosas.”

8. “They’re all good men before something happens to them. Some of them stay good, no matter how they’re treated.”

9. “You can’t show up at a ball and not expect at least one social-climbing doppelgänger to show up and impersonate you.”

10. “As long as I’m with you, I’m Hillary in the White House. I want to be Hillary, Secretary of State. Except with better hair.”

11.  “It only takes one video to topple a career. If you don’t believe me just google ‘Connie Chung piano.'”

12. “This isn’t Congress. Accomplish something!”

13. “My jealousy issues are as over as surf fabric for evening wear.”

14. “Doing the right thing takes courage and strength. At least that’s what I’ve heard.”

15. “You need to be cool to be queen. Anne Boleyn thought only with her heart, and she got her head chopped off. So her daughter Elizabeth made a vow never to marry a man. She married a country. Forget boys. Keep your eye on the prize. You can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.”

16. “It was once said that a person’s eyes are the windows to their soul. That was before people had cell phones.”

17. “It’s just your ordinary, run of the mill ex sex, field by the most common of aphrodisiacs: mutual loathing and disdain.”

18. (Serena: “I went to the morgue today.”) “What is that, a sex club?”

19. “You know how torturous it is for me to find shiny things that aren’t intended for me.”

20. “Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.”