Dater XY: Check Yourself Before Your Misrepresent Yourself

Most of us tend to portray a glossed over picture of our lives online. We cherry pick what we share and make sure our lives look like the best thing since sliced bread. With online dating, things are no different. We’re trying to present the best picture of ourselves as possible so we leave some things out and stretch the truth with others.

For instance, I claim to be really good at playing the bass guitar. This used to be true, but now less so. I leave out what many consider a red flag, that my best friend is a woman. I’m an inch taller online as well. The pictures I posted vary in age from being a week old to several years old but I look the same. Overall, it’s a pretty accurate depiction of me and, to me, it’s an acceptable level of massaging the truth. Some individuals, though, take significantly more liberties with the truth.

This past weekend, I went on a short date with one of these individuals. OKCupid said we were a good match and, overall, it looked that way. She seemed to be, roughly, what I was looking for so when she asked if I’d like to meet for a drink I said yes.

As the saying goes, first impressions are important and things got off to a poor start with her being 30 minutes late. Seriously, being late is easily one of my biggest pet peeves but I stuck it out because she called a few minutes before we were supposed to meet to let me know she was running behind. Unfortunately, things just continued to go downhill from there.

When she finally arrived, I didn’t even recognize her as she looked markedly different than her profile pictures. I’m not sure how old the pictures were, but the attractive, athletic, outdoor enthusiast her profile portrayed appeared to be anything but. She also came dressed in what would be best described as glorified pajamas.

I felt like it would be rude to leave at this point so we went in for a beer and I hoped for the best. Nope. Conversation quickly revealed that our personalities and lifestyles majorly clashed. What I found funny (“The Big Bang Theory,” “Modern Family,” “Parks & Rec,” “The Daily Show,” etc.) she found to be mundane. I enjoy sarcastic witty banter and she apparently despises it — she said as much after I made a sarcastic comment about my height. Her profile indicated she supported gay marriage, but once we got to talking she made an offhand comment about not believing they should have the right. And she magically went from “I eat anything” online to a strict vegetarian; not a huge deal, but I cook almost everything in beacon grease. Couple all of that with our different opinions on how one should dress for a first date, timeliness, and how to accurately present yourself in an online dating profile, and it was clear we weren’t a match. I politely ended things after we finished our 1st round and declined when she invited me back to her place. Later that night she texted me to let me know she had a great time and wanted to go out again. At that point, I felt I had to be more direct and thanked her for a fun evening but that I didn’t feel any kind of connection and we should see others.

Would I have stuck it out longer had she been as attractive as she looked in her pictures? Doubtful. Between showing up late and dressing for a night in with Netflix and pizza, I think she demonstrated a lack of interest and care — ain’t nobody got time for that! We all deserve someone that is willing to put in the same level of effort into a relationship as we’re willing to put in, regardless of whether it’s the 1st date or the 20th.