13 Reasons Everybody Hates Grocery Shopping (In GIFs!)
I will literally wait until the only food left in my house is one-half of a stale Ritz cracker before I force myself to go to the grocery store. If it’s not enough that you need a down jacket to walk through the frozen food aisle without getting hypothermia, there are about 80 other things that make me dread trips to the supermarket. If you’re like me, these 13 reasons to despise the grocery store will remind you why you should just order take-out the rest of the month.
1. Not Being Able To Find Anything: You’re looking for Midol, but instead of being with the medicine in aisle 2, it’s next to the sanitary pads in aisle 8. Now you have to schlep all the way to the other end of the store to hunt it down.
2. People Are The Worst: They leave their carts in the middle of the aisle making it unable for you to pass them. They also hover like human barricades DIRECTLY in front of the item you need to grab and read their grocery lists, unmoving, as they plant themselves at the aisle exit.
3. Making One Trip: You have 8 bags and a steep set of stairs that is your personal Mount Rushmore, but you’d rather break both of your arms before making two trips with your groceries.
4. Cleanup In Aisle Five: You dropped the pickle jar and they have to announce your mess over the loud speaker, or, even worse, you knocked over a display of cookies in a pyramid and become “that guy.”
5. Incompetent Baggers: Nothing irks me more than a cashier who puts your six grocery items into four bags and takes their sweet time doing it.
6. The Frozen Food Aisle: I get that certain foods needs to be temperature-controlled, but why the fuck does the aisle feel like Antarctica? My nipples could cut glass after a quick trip to pick up a DiGiorno frozen pizza.
7. Check-Out Lines: If you have more than 12 items, don’t get in the Express Check-Out lane. If you are not handicapped, do not get in the handicapped lane. If you get in the check-out line and have forgotten toilet paper, don’t expect me to “save your place” as you sprint through the store like a contestant on “Supermarket Sweep.”
8. Claustrophobia: Nothing makes me feel more anxious than being in a small building with every single product one could need in life.
9. Sticky Baskets: What could the previous basket-carrier possibly have had in there that left a sticky film on the handles?
10. People Who Eat While They Shop: If you haven’t bought the grapes yet, don’t pick them up from the display and eat the entire bag before you get to check-out.
11. Overbuying: It’s hard not to grab everything in front of you when you’re A) hungry, and B) looking to avoid coming back to the grocery store at all costs for as long as humanly possible.
12. Hooligans: Kids, teenagers, drunk adults …whoever. Don’t grocery shop in roller skates, use the shopping carts as bumper cars or play hide and seek near the produce shelves, you assholes.
13. Losing Whoever You Came With: Your mom disappeared down the coffee aisle never to appear again.