Beauty Test Drive: False Eyelashes At The Beach

We’ve already tested the Eylure line of false lashes once, in a controlled, relatively stable, indoor environment. Still, after Sophie’s Beauty Test Drive, I was inspired to give them a whirl myself. Sure, these things look great when you’re sitting in your apartment, straightening your hair and paging through Seamless, but I wanted to try them out in extreme conditions. My guiding principle for this Beauty Test Drive was “What would Kim Kardashian do?” Embracing her doe-eyed optimism, I took the Eylure lashes to a place where they probably haven’t been before — the beach. Here’s how it went.

Price: $4.99, Target (In-Store)

What You Get: The kit comes with two strips of false eyelashes, a tiny tube of eyelash adhesive and a weird tool that looks like tweezers, but curved to fit the line of the lash.

How To Apply: First, trim the lashes so that they fit your eyelid, dab some glue on them, and then use the weird pusher/tweezer thing to gently, delicately place them on your lids. Wear and be merry, and take solace in the fact that they are reusable, so you can rip ‘em off after your night out at Le Clurb, or the office, or wherever, tuck ‘em in your makeup bag and go to bed.

How’d It Go? I love a thick, heavy, out of control eyelash. I have moderately long, relatively straight lashes that, unless curled and aggressively mascara-ed, stick out straight like a visor. To me, the height of glamour is the kind of eyelash that defies human logic, sort of like little spiders on your eyelids. I want eyelashes that look like the kind that little kids draw in pictures. I want the ability to wear these lashes everywhere and anywhere, like throwing a mink over a nightgown and waltzing out to the bodega to pick up toilet paper and a Snickers ice cream bar. Big lashes are versatile, the easiest way to look like you’re the kind of person who is a little bit fancy without putting in a lot of work. It is this lazy approach to beauty that motivates me. When I heard The Frisky had just received a ginormous shipment of false lashes from Eylure, I decided that I would see how these lashes survived the summer elements. I threw a couple boxes in my tote and hopped on the ferry to Fire Island for a five-day beach vacation with friends.

Once I opened the package, I realized that I lacked the dexterity to apply them myself. I enlisted the help of a friend who watched warily as I explained the process.

I expected false eyelashes to feel lush, and furry and real, like a simulation of the eyelashes that I currently possess. These, on the other hand, were plasticky and strange, like a black version of that weird fake grass that separates the wasabi lump from your tuna roll in takeout sushi.

We followed the instructions, and after about five minutes, they were set. “You look insane,” my friend said. I looked in the mirror. My eyes, which aren’t that open to begin with, were now heavy-lidded and sleepy. I tried opening them as wide as I could, but the terrifying weight of the lashes on my lid felt strange. I looked like Mr. Snuffleupagus. Still, despite how ridiculous this was, there was something kind of amazing about the whole endeavor. I was dressed in my bathing suit and a floppy white dress with a chocolate ice cream stain near the hem, but my face was ready to go someplace with paparazzi, watered down-drinks and throbbing house music. Glamorous look in place, I headed to the beach.

I couldn’t wear my sunglasses because of the lashes — seriously, that’s how heavy they are — but laying out in the sun was no problem. The lashes created a natural visor, so after a few minutes, I gamely headed into the ocean. “Are you really going to wear those in the water?” my friend asked. “I don’t think they’ll stay on.”

When I emerged from being walloped by the first wave, I had to squash my instincts to furiously rub saltwater out of my eyes and check that my contacts were still in place. Water dripped steadily from the lashes into my eyes and onto my cheeks, but I soldiered on. With each wave, I felt their resolve slowly weaken. After about 10 minutes — longer than I anticipated, to be honest — I could feel that at least one of the strips had worked its way off my lid and was now residing on my cheek. I wanted to test their reusability, so I exited the water. How do I look?

Beauty Test Drive: False Eyelashes At The Beach

Would I Do It Again? I don’t know how the Kardashians do it, but I assume the answer is more money, real hair and seasoned professionals to apply these things to their face. My eyelashes were applied by a man who learned the difference between mascara and eyeliner last week. Given those circumstances, they held up pretty well! I’d give the falsies a shot, but maybe reserve them for an event where I am meant to stand still and blink slowly.

Verdict: 3/5