How Joan Rivers Should Be Laid To Rest, According To Joan Rivers

How Joan Rivers Should Be Laid To Rest, According To Joan Rivers

“When I die (and yes, Melissa, that day will come; and yes, Melissa, everything’s in your name), I want my funeral to be a huge showbiz affair with lights, cameras, action … I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing ‘Mr. Lonely.’ I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé‘s.”

In her 2013 book I Hate Everyone … Starting With Me, the late Joan Rivers, who passed away today at the age of 81, made her funeral wishes quite clear. Here’s hoping she gets everything she asked for. Clear your calendar, Meryl. [Photo: Getty Images]

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