Hey! So you probably noticed The Frisky was down all day. We seem to be up and running — FOR NOW!!!! — so I can finally bring you this hilariously late recap of last night’s MTV VMAs. I know, you forgot it happened already.
Without the promise of Miley Cyrus’s flapjacks twerking against Robin Thicke’s sleazy groin, last night’s MTV Video Music Awards had a lot to live up to. So how did it go? Well, there was a lot less tongue, thank god, much better twerking (thanks Nicki!), the Kardashians at their worst, and so, so, so much Beyonce. Here are the moments not to be missed from last night’s MTV VMAs.
Nicki Minaj had a lightening fast costume change in between performing her single “Anaconda” and her collab with Ariana Grande and Jessie J, “Bang Bang,” to open the show — but apparently she wasn’t zipped into her second dress correctly because she had to clutch the front together to prevent a wardrobe malfunction. Oops!
…but her tweaking was ON POINT.
Common paid tribute to Mike Brown and the residents of Ferguson, Missouri…
Miley Cyrus, apparently still pissed about Ed Sheeran’s criticism of the music video for “Wrecking Ball,” mouthed “ASSHOLE” as Sheeran walked past her to collect his Best Male Video award trophy.
Speaking of Miley, sent Jesse, a homeless pal — and her date to the show — onstage to collect her Video of the Year VMA and he gave a very moving speech on behalf of the 1.6 million runaways and homeless youth in the United States. Do you think she was inspired by Marlon Brando and Sacheen Littlefeather?!
On the red carpet before the show, Miley and Jesse talked exclusively to SpinMedia’s correspondent (and Miley’s big sis) Brandi Cyrus:
Usher gave Nicki Minaj’s ass a shoulder bump. Also, Usher plays guitar, apparently.
Taylor Swift showed off some of her trademark awkward dance moves while watch Iggy Azalea perform…
…before taking the stage to show off even more during her first live performance of “Shake It Off.” Remember when Taylor used to be a country singer?
But no one, NO ONE, stole the show quite like Beyonce, who ripped through a 15 minute medley of songs, at one point striking a fierce pose in front of the word “FEMINIST” displayed in huge, bright letters behind her.
Okay, except maybe Blue Ivy stole a little bit of Bey’s thunder, as she couldn’t stop herself from getting down as she watched mom perform from Jay Z’s lap.
Then Jay and Blue took the stage to give Beyonce her Video Vanguard Award, Blue shouted “Yay Mommy!” and Beyonce wept. And the nation wept with her.
PLEASE DON’T BREAK UP. PLEASE.