Dater X: Let’s Get It On

I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Scar Twin and I got it on. And BOY, DID WE.

You see, after I quite cathartically wrote to you all about my dilemma last week, it became evident to me that the real reason I wasn’t having sex wasn’t because I felt emotionally unready. My relationship with Scar Twin is going well, has been progressing on all levels, and I feel very confidently that this “thing” we have was (and is) headed in a positive direction. Our chemistry is undeniable, and it was obvious that we were both itching to do the deed. After all, sex is an important part of any relationship, and it’s fair to say we were both ready to see if we were as compatible in the bedroom as we are out of it. I think, underneath all of the questioning was just plain fear of rejection. Once you sleep with someone, you become vulnerable in a way you weren’t before. You’re more invested, and yes, sometimes people become attached. More than anything, I think I worried that becoming even more intimate with Scar Twin would make things hurt even worse if they didn’t work out. But then I realized that I was depriving myself of a healthy, natural thing that could take our relationship to the next step, so I said “fuck it,” and knew what I needed to do.

We’ve been hanging out a few times a week, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to ask if I wanted to swing by for a quick bite after work one night. We ate, we talked, we ate some more and then it was game time. Making out led to shirtless fondling, which led to pants being thrown across the room, which brought me full circle, back to the big question: to bang or not to bang? This time, I stopped worrying about the “what ifs” and went with my instincts: TO BANG. The fact that we had an alcohol-free evening made the idea of first-time sex slightly more intimidating than it probably would have been if we had a few glasses of wine, but I preferred it this way. The sex was good — very good, especially for our first time. I’d already learned that he’s a giver, so there was no slacking in the foreplay department, and we both came, not at the same time, but hard. Was it the best I’ve ever had? No. There were definitely a few fumbles on both of our parts, including a brief moment where I thought I broke his penis while I was enthusiastically riding him on top. I was also a little nervous, and I’m sure he was too (even though it didn’t prevent either of us from enjoying the sex). My main concern was whether or not our sexual tastes would be compatible, and I was thrilled to find that they are, at least so far. Once we finished, we hung out a bit longer and before I knew it, it was time for Round 2. This time, we were more in sync and things felt easier. We made more eye contact, became more vocal, a bit more adventurous and it felt like things were finally falling into place.

A few days later, he spent his first-ever night at my place, where we shared a bunch of other “firsts” together. He met some of my friends and I met some of his, we opened up to each other about illnesses that run in our families, we friended each other on Facebook (after joking about who would cave first), we hilariously danced together in public, he farted in front of me (and apologized, but it was only a matter of time before we reached that comfort level), and yes, we had lots more sex. To be clear, the fart did NOT happen during sex, because holy instant mood-killer. But that time together allowed us to discover things about each other we weren’t previously privy to. I learned that he likes to start off slow and finish fast and hard. He learned that I always come when I’m on top and that I like to be spanked every now and then. I learned that he sometimes puts corn starch on his balls to prevent chafing, and he learned that, yes, waxing is a thing.

“You mean you let a stranger go down there and smear hot wax all over your vagina, then rip it off? I didn’t think many women really did that,” he said.

I learned that he can screw standing up while holding me off the ground for at LEAST five minutes straight, which isn’t an easy feat, and he learned that I have an extensive lube collection. I learned that he sleeps with one arm extended across my pillow, and he learned that I sometimes twitch in my sleep. Needless to say, we discovered a lot of things about each other that night that brought us closer and hopefully strengthened our bond. I can’t be certain where things will go with us or if we’ll even last another two weeks, because you really never know. But I remain cautiously optimistic … as long as he keeps his farting to a minimum.