Nine West Sells Shoes For The Only Occasions In A Woman’s Life That Matter: Getting Married And Having Kids
SHOES, ladies, amirite?
Nine West, like all footwear companies, needs all the reasons its marketing department can come up with to sell you more shoes you don’t need. Which is why right now on NineWest.com, there are two curated sections for “shoe occasions”: one is “Starter Husband Hunting” and the other is “First Day Of Kindergarten.” And oh, is the copy hilariously bad for both!
Yes, you read that right — starter husband, as in, your first marriage before a divorce, when one of you moves on to someone else. Not only is it offensive to assume their customers care about “husband hunting” — queer women wear shoes, too, Nine West — but she’s going to ditch the guy who puts a ring on it? (Maybe husband number two had deeper pockets for shoe purchases.)
Their second goofy-ass category is “First Day Of Kindergarten” — as in, your child’s first day of kindergarten — and it’s hard to put a manicured finger on what’s more ridiculous here. Is it the $129 black peep-toe stiletto booties that no mother of a five-year-old in her right mind would go tromping around wearing? Or the copy reading “Then it hits you: mommy now has the weeks off.” Of course Nine West’s high heel-wearing fantasy mommy doesn’t work.
The blog Consumerist reached out to Nine West to see if other, more inclusive “shoe occasions” are forthcoming, such as, say, a job interview. In the mean time, I’m going to look at how high these heels are and hope Mommy’s starter husband is a podiatrist.