Sink Your Teeth Into A Big, Juicy Peach Butt

Two of my favorite things in this whole world are peaches and butts. Put those two together, and you have the greatest lovechild of all time, not including Blue Ivy Carter. So what is a peach butt, you ask?

In China, “Sexy Butt” peaches are being sold to capitalize on the upcoming Qixi Festival, which, to me, seems like the equivalent of a Chinese Valentine’s Day but with a different backstory. It’s all about love and romance and blah blah blah. The fruits are “Ripe Fruit” peaches from Wuxi — an area famous for having juicy, delicious peaches and a well-known garment district — outfitted in individual panties. If you haven’t noticed, peaches also look like behinds, so the whole concept works, and I, personally, think it’s genius.

So how much do peach butts cost? A lot. A box of nine undie-clad fruits costs 498 yuan, or 80 U.S. dollars. The panty peaches were allegedly developed by a fruit vendor in Nanjing, but they’ve become so popular that other vendors have begun selling them, so there’s hope that the price may drop! Fingers crossed.

And to my future husband, if you’re reading this: the way to my heart is with these peach butts. []