What A Relief: The Real Larry From “Orange Is The New Black” Is Not Such A Schmuck

It’s strange that my own story has now been told in my wife’s memoir and, in a way, by the Netflix adaptation of it, yielding such delights in my inbox as a link to an article called “A Guide to the Internet’s Love of Hating Larry Bloom From ‘Orange Is the New Black.’” What can you do with that? Well, I read every word, clicked on every link, and laughed my ass off, appreciating the passion and level of detail that went into documenting the love of hating Larry Bloom. And when my friend’s teenage daughter texts me to say that she just wants me to know I am so much cooler than that guy, I appreciate that, too. …  I stuck by Piper because it never occurred to me to do anything else. I later signed a marriage contract with Piper Kerman, and a life rights release with Jenji Kohan and Netflix. And now, here’s my version of the story. If you ever meet me, I hope you’ll discover I am neither the saint of Piper’s book, nor the schmuck of a hit show.

Never before have pop culture consumers of the world been united in such certainty: we hate Larry Bloom, Piper’s ex-fiance on “Orange Is The New Black.” Just seeing Jason Biggs’ face on my computer screen brings on the douchechills. ‘Tis a pity for real-life Larry, an editor and writer named Larry Smith, who finally opened up about being half of Netflix’s most famous couple in a long essay for Medium.

There’s a lot in there. Smith covers how he and Kerman met, became platonic friends (she still considered herself a lesbian) and fell in love; then, of course, there’s everything that happened after Kerman’s criminal past caught up to her. But what I think is more interesting is how Smith sees himself in his now-wife’s story. It can’t be easy to become suddenly sorta famous, plus have the character playing you on TV be utterly insufferable. I can imagine plenty of lesser men would have run in the other direction. TV-Larry-and-Piper may be the worst, but in the place that really matters — real life — I really like them both. [Medium] [Image of Larry Smith via Medium]