Missed Connections: Dude In Cargo Shorts Searches For Grape-Feeding, Maybe-Pregnant Dog Owner

Sometimes Craigslist Missed Connections read exactly like the First Act summaries for quirky romantic comedies. In fact, I would like to option this Craigslist Missed Connection ad I just read titled “I told you not to feed your dog grapes.” Can you option CL ads? Can I just steal it? Anyway, the poster is allegedly a 33-year-old dude in cargo shorts who saw a woman feeding her dog grapes at the park and took the time to warn her that his own dog died after eating a bowl of grapes. In that moment, a special connection was formed, at least on Cargo Shorts end, and now he’s looking for the woman with a Border Collie who, P.S., may or may not be pregnant, because he wants to take her on a date. Sure, it’s kind of rude to say a woman looks like she might be pregnant, especially because two months pregnant could just as easily be a burrito baby, but Cargo Shorts wants a date regardless so YAY ROMANCE! When I make the movie version of this romantic tale, Ryan Gosling would play Cargo Shorts, DUH, only he would not actuallywear cargo shorts, because they are awful. I’m still unsure of the state of Dog Owner’s womb, though. Burrito baby or real baby? Hard to decide. [Craigslist]