Celine Dion Wants To Hang Out With The “All By Myself” Airport Guy And I’m DYING OF JEALOUSY

Gather round, kids, it’s time for a very sad story. Once upon a time, my friend Kyle and I made a whole bunch of Celine Dion lip sync videos. We dressed up in suits and sequins, we recruited our other friends to be extras and camera operators, and we yelled at them if they got distracted. We (fake) sang our hearts out to “I Drove All Night,” “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now,” “A New Day Has Come,” and tons of other Celine classics. We posted these videos on Celine fan club message boards, hoping somehow Celine might notice and invite us to meet her at any of the many, many Las Vegas concerts of hers that we attended. But alas, our videos only received a few hundred YouTube hits and radio silence from Queen Celine.

And then along comes some amateur named Richard Dunn, who gets trapped at the Las Vegas airport overnight and decides to make a funny lip sync video out of it. And what do you know? Richard’s video goes viral, and Celine watches it, and makes a response video in which she invites him to be her guest at her next concert and tells him he’s welcome to use her bathroom any time. Sigh.

That sad, whimpering, gargling sound is me dying of jealousy. Just in case you were wondering.